Sometimes I wonder if it's actually true, this mythical "Law of Attraction" thing. Meaning, what you want and concentrate on, comes true. There's a logical, rational explanation too, which is that whenever you really want something and believe in it, you tend to do every little thing as if in preparation for it, anticipating it will happen which will in turn modify circumstances so that they're more beneficial for the thing to happen.
So many times when I've been on a job or in a school and then started to think about leaving, the more I think about it, the more everything starts to push me in that direction, sometimes in the most outlandish ways. Perhaps also because all motivation is lost to try even the tiniest bit. I may not even have thought about it that seriously, but once the thought enters my mind, the process has irrevocably started and in the end I will be elsewhere. It has happened every time ever since I was old enough not to be forced to continue anything I didn't want to.
So in order to stop the endless spiral of quitting and moving and starting over and quitting and ... it's just about realizing happiness actually is within yourself and not some specific place outside of yourself. Although it has to be said that sometimes there's simply a fire, that needs to be extinguished and the only way is to go. The problem is discerning when it's a fire that forces you to go and when it's just a stupid itch that you can sit and wait to go away. I think by now I've gotten decent at telling them apart. When you know that that fire's not gonna go off through scratching; or that eliminating the itch with a fire extinguisher is a bit of an overkill.
I've originally written this in May (so it says on Blogger) but it still feels very topical. I have since actually started wondering about what if the things I've been so compulsively after ain't even worth it. Wouldn't be the first time! What if this right here is good enough for now. It might just be. I keep failing to see it because I'm so obsessed with something else, something I don't have, all the time. How do I know it's so good if I never had it?
I'm talking about locations btw.
