I do wonder just how difficult I'm capable of making things for myself. The language thing has not really progressed at fucking all during all this time, and it's getting embarrassing and more stressful for me than actually taking the bull by the horns and doing something about it (and I've said this before too, only about 46 times).
But now I have actually grown uneasy about it, realizing that if I don't do anything about it soon, I will regret it, and that is just the truth.
Problem is, I'm too fond of my comfort zones, and I'm phenomenal at doing stuff when I practically have no choice, not so great at doing stuff that is outside of my comfort zone when I am not necessitated to take action. My comfort zone has shrunk so much it is not even funny anymore.
There's no way I can not get a job in the near future. There is no way I will get a job unless I get my act together regarding the language. I can, again, just say this, or I can finally tell the bf he'll speak Norwegian in simple matters from now on (not complicated, because it will reduce the level and quality of conversation too much for now).
Stepping outside comfort zones is an intriguing thing for me. Inside the comfort zone it's sort of nice and fluffy but also there's this nagging feeling in the back of my head making me feel guilty all the time. Then there's the stepping out of comfort zone and first moments there, that are potentially frightening, but they have without exception led to triumphant feelings in the past. So, not rocket science, this. The nagging's driving me nuts, slowly but surely.
I have had comfort zone borders to cross with languages at least twice before, which has happened with great success both times. The problem will go away by doing, not by sticking my head in the bushes and hoping it will disappear on its own. Also, who gives a damn if I have a crappy accent, I will anyway so what's the big deal. I'm focusing way too much on the obstacle and not what's on the other side. Also, this stress is getting worse than the obstacle ever was.
